What follows is an excerpt from my book "I Pay Your Wages! A Beginners Guide to the Police Service". Available from Amazon in paperback and Kindle format. I hope you enjoy it.
10 things not to say on your first day:
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I can’t wait to finally get out there and crack some skulls!
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Why don’t they make the hot WPC’s wear skirts anymore?
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With all this police intelligence and systems, there must be a way to find out that girl’s phone number from Saturday night.
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I’m an undercover reporter for The Sun.
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Dude, I was so drunk last night, I don’t know how I drove here this morning!
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So when do we get the guns?
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Do we really have to seize all this money? I’m sure if we get our stories straight we can keep a little for ourselves.
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No-one will talk down to me now I’m a cop. I’ll show them all who’s a sissy now!
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Everyone’s tried cannabis before. I don’t understand why it’s illegal. Where is the drugs safe by the way?
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Half the people in this job are only here because they ticked a box you know.
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