How to get out of a speeding ticket:
An eager but new police officer, PC Fakenham, was out patrolling one day and noticed a Nissan Micra driving erratically at high speed. The dutiful officer pulls over the car for speeding and finds an old lady in the driving seat...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
PC Fakename: Yes, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
PC Fakename: Yes, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Fakename: Can I see your driver’s license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
PC Fakename: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
PC Fakename: I see...can I see your insurance documents then please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
PC Fakename: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
PC Fakename: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
PC Surname: I’m sorry, you what!?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic ASDA bags in the boot if you want to see.
The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the Micra. Sergeant Duffy, Fakename’s supervisor, slowly approaches the car, clasping her CS spray.
Sergeant Duffy: Madam, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem?
Sergeant Duffy: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Sergeant Duffy: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car, please.
The woman opens the hatchback tailgate, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
Sergeant Duffy: Is this your car, madam?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Sergeant Dufy: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. She looks quite puzzled.
Sergeant Duffy: Thank you madam, my officer over there told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
PC Fakename: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
PC Fakename: I see...can I see your insurance documents then please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
PC Fakename: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
PC Fakename: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
PC Surname: I’m sorry, you what!?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic ASDA bags in the boot if you want to see.
The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the Micra. Sergeant Duffy, Fakename’s supervisor, slowly approaches the car, clasping her CS spray.
Sergeant Duffy: Madam, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem?
Sergeant Duffy: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Sergeant Duffy: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car, please.
The woman opens the hatchback tailgate, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
Sergeant Duffy: Is this your car, madam?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Sergeant Dufy: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. She looks quite puzzled.
Sergeant Duffy: Thank you madam, my officer over there told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!
No comments:
Post a Comment