Obviously this is a police blog and the readers (of which surprisingly
there have been a few thousand so far) would naturally expect the entries to be
of a police nature. Firstly apologies that the entries have been sparse of
late, but my full attention has been awarded to completing the new book - which
I am relieved to say is finally done (almost)! Which brings me on to the
purpose of this blog entry:
Instead of going into police matters I thought on this occasion I'd talk
a little about writing and publishing a book as it may be of interest and
curiosity to some. Although a full time crime fighter, I am also an amateur
author. My genre: humorous police fiction; but then you probably already know
that if you've read 'I Pay Your Wages!'.
Most people do not know of my hobby; since I write about the job I do,
to some extent my stories are slightly autobiographical or at least drawn from
real life experiences of mine or colleagues. Due to this fact I feel it prudent
to not involve or inform my colleagues and employers as some of the stories
might be a little too 'honest' for their liking. Whilst I make a very modest
revenue from book royalties, this pales into insignificance compared to a police
salary and pension. As much as I am grateful for gainful employment, until I
sell a million copies and/or 20th Century Fox call saying they want
to make a movie based on the book, I won't be risking my job or telling my
chief constable where he can shove it anytime soon.
Without intending to sound too self-indulgent, I personally stick to writing what
I know – I am fortunate that my profession inspires interest from others.
Police work is perceived as intriguing, exciting, dangerous even; and is some
ways it is. I do not have the skill to write a dramatized thriller, or experience to do a romantic
fiction, or imagination to pen a fantasy adventure; so instead I fall back on something many police officers have – a sense
of humour. I am delighted with the general response from people who have paid
their own money to read my book and feel humbled by it all.
I feel a bit if a fraud when people look impressed (and usually a little
surprised/baffled) if they find out I have books published - not that I make a
habit of telling people - because the truth is nowadays anyone who owns a
laptop, has a modicum of IT skills and can string a few intelligible sentences
together can publish a book; and I don't just mean an ebook either - a real,
physical, paperback book. I am living proof any idiot can do it! Various
companies now offer a Print On Demand (POD) facility whereby an approved book
can be purchased online by anyone across the world, printed in a press and
despatched the same day for next day delivery. Such is the efficiency and cost
effectiveness that a single book can be produced cheaply enough; so even if
your work of literacy genius sells only one copy, then just one copy is all
that will be printed - no need for large print runs to make publishing a book
economically viable.
The process of getting your book out there is a simple one: write your
book (this is the trickiest part), type it up on a computer, edit it, save it
as a PDF, upload it to the publishing company of choice (I use CreateSpace who
are owned by Amazon, but Lulu.com is also a popular one), within 24 hours they
will approve the text, design a book cover (either of your own or by using a
template they provide), make sure you're happy with the appearance of your
masterpiece, come up with a witty book description, set your own price and
'boom' - it's done! Many companies will now do all this for free as they make
their money when (or if) your book sells. The downside is the books are
generally speaking only available online, so will never grace the shelves of WH
Smiths or Waterstones. For books to appear in High Street stores an author will
need the assistance - financial as well as introductory clout - of a
traditional publisher; something I and many alike are striving for, but seldom
few achieve.
But the real opportunity for self-published authors lays in e-readers
like Kindle, Nook and the like. Because there is no physical product to
manufacture or ship, anyone can write and publish their works, making it available
to millions globally. For self-published authors ebooks generally account for
the vast majority of sales compared to 'physical' books. About 85% of my sales
are electronic.
Self-publishing, as the above process is called, is a fairly recent
phenomenon that's changing the world of literature, making it easy for any Tom,
Dick or EL James (yes, she was originally self-published) to put their work out
there into the public domain.
The downside is this means there's a lot of dross out there by
delusional, wannabe-be-the-next-JK Rowling amateur authors. As quality control
is mostly down to the individual author themselves, quality of work - spelling,
grammar, formatting - can vary and occasionally disappoint. Speaking of which,
the new book, 'Upholding Law and Disorder: Police Tales from the Front Line',
should be ready next week some time, in paperback and ebook format! :-)
I’m really pleased with it and know it won’t make my fortune, but I
really hope people enjoy it and feel their money has not been wasted.
'I Pay Your Wages! A Beginners Guide to the Police Service' is still available, and discounted by a massive 4p by Amazon! Thanks Amazon! CLICK HERE
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